breaking ground in early april

should have months to get this done

take a photo in the yard

before the scenery is overrun

paint the house in sepia tones

make it easy on the eyes

save a section for your hand

and leave a print for me to memorize

stacking boxes up outside

leave the room in disarray

i think it's gonna be some time

before we finally get our things away

conversations on the porch

you never tell it like it is

i know there's something on your mind

it's stuck admiring the irises

and i would lie through aching jaw

when you ask about my night

but there's something in the air

in plastic chairs and patio lights

up above the rotting wood

of that old retaining wall

you know it's hard not to be honest when

you know you're about to fall

hello?

a silent drive for thirty clicks

a thousand left to go

i kind of thought if we were fast enough

we could convince the sun to slow

the flickering street lights few and far between

my vision starts to fade in and out

the street signs in the treeline all look the same

they're calling me somehow

gun it

where have you been

where are you going

do you work better on your own

am i a name

a dozen letters

or am i just numbers in your phone

clear out the words

erase all the pictures

pretend i was never there at all

when you see my name

does it hit different

or does your chest still rise and fall like normal

(i won't forget, no, won't forget, no, -get, i won't forget, won't forget, no)

(i won't forget, no, won't forget, no, -get, i won't forget, won't forget, no)

landlord white

over the outlets

hoping to leave no trace behind

glow in the dark

stars on the ceiling

under the eggshell no one finds

the boarded up windows facing the street

were perfect for autumn sunsets

i'd sit like a dog 'til you come back to me

they say to forgive, but i can't, and i won't forget, no

and when you find that outline

i know you know it's me

and when you read that headline

i know you know it's me

do you remember

the art you got lasered down to scars

you don't know the plates

the faces all blurred

but it's funny how often you see my car

when you're crossing state lines

do you still take me along

when it's lonely out there

when it all feels wrong

and when you find that outline

i know you know it's me

and when you read that headline

i know you know it's me

can leave me lying on the floor

set a fire in the door

but you can't leave me behind no more

it hurts, doesn't it?

i'm sorry

but you have to get back up

chewing on a boil and bite

seven fingers up

staring at my swollen eyes

reflected in my blood

i hope you bet against me

so that i can prove you wrong

setting off the smoke alarm

to see if you will show

throwing gloves at empty walls

for reasons i don't know

i hope you bet against me

so that i can prove you wrong

i hope you bet against me

so that i can prove you wrong

did i scare you?

did you think you'd see my face in the morning paper

i was just too weak or just too strong

didn't think i'd get along with all your friends

so you kept me far away

unaccomplished

any of the things i had promised

can someone stop this ride, i want off

you made up whole cloth, the things you said

to make me feel insane

honey did i come across as clay in your hands

to make your own

can't remember

any of the days in december

it's a jump cut from fall to snow

tell me where'd it go

i'd like to be a part

of those four weeks and three days

honey did i come across as a seven dollar mat

outside your door

head inside, i'll just wait for you to come back

and darling, take your time

did i scare you?

was there anything to prepare you

for this mixed media collage of myself

just leave me on the shelf

with those nice clothes

you swore you'd wear someday

honey did i come across as something you could keep

for when the weather turns

soft rim light on the sable clouds up above

a silver glow

and did that scare you?

hell is a houseboat

it's too hot below the surface

but topside makes me seasick

heaven's a hotel robe

angelic white, lacking comfort

and missing when you need it

so if they send me off to water

like they threaten to

or a seventh story window

with an ocean view

just come knocking at the door

i will send this ship ashore

cause i know that i'll be better off with you

you're a parade float

you've got everybody staring

from pedestrians to cable crews

you call me a raincoat

much more help than an umbrella

it's a low bar that i cling to

they can send their strongest storm

i'm not acting up

or you can hang me up to dry

if you've had enough

so toss the bin beside the door

we don't need it anymore

and turn the tv on, i want the macy's view

oh

so come knocking at the door

i will send this ship ashore

cause I know that i'll be better off with you

with you

with you

with you

with you

(-fore then

and lying on my back

a borrow-)

i know we haven't quite talked in a while

but i don't have the guts now to see you

if you call me tomorrow

i'll listen to your gritted teeth

all the lies sneaking out in between them

until it's all buttoned up

call me a coward, I'll call you correct

and politely adjourn myself elsewhere

yeah this has been fun

but i'm done with benign conversation

the weathermen just use a window

i think that i've had enough

yeah i think that i've had enough

lay in the grass under traffic lights

cycling red into green into amber

the noise and the crowd getting quieter now

look up at the sky as the stars all meander

but maybe i just made it up

yeah maybe i made it up

i know in my bones that i'm out here alone

but maybe

cut out my tongue

glue my fingers together

and kick in the backs of my knees

leave me on the floor for just a bit more

i think i could try to learn how to believe

but maybe i just made it up

yeah maybe i made it up

let the stained glass light try to cover me up

it's not enough

la da da da

wake up

in a retroactive outrage

from the things he said

it's still dark out

and i slept on my hand funny

now my face is all red

he was talking 

about when the world was better

you were just a store clerk

and i just stood there

watched a guy pick fights with strangers

that were trying to work

and i wish that i could help you out

but you're so long gone

so long

we spent all night

watching "how i met your mother"

getting pissed at the end

and then you ask me

if i know where this life's going

and i say it depends

but i'd like to cut this season out

cause it goes too long

goes too long

could you tell me if you figure out

where i'm going wrong

going wrong

i wish that i could help you out

but you're so long gone

so long gone

i'm sorry for not helping out

now you're so long gone

so long

yeah i wish that i could help you out

but you're so long gone

so long gone

i'm sorry for not helping out

now you're so long gone

so long gone

i wish that i could help you out

but you're so long gone

so long gone

i'm sorry for not helping out

now you're so long gone

so long gone

plastic chairs, patio lights - this one's a kinda stream of consciousness look at how easy it is to try and build up distractions to avoid dealing with what's really going on, and more specifically how that's always doomed to fail. you can't lie when you're sitting in one of those shitty white plastic chairs late at night, not even to yourself

gun it - based on a time when i fell asleep driving, and how for some reason whenever i could feel myself drifting off i would always speed up. the piano is a sample of one of the first songs i wrote called level

headline -  writing this started with verse two, which was inspired by the tumblr post about the repainted air bnb in "landlord white". after that i was thinking about the phrase "you're dead to me" and how the dead often stick around more than the living, at least internally, which inspired me to write from the perspective of someone who had been killed

gloves - it's all based around one big fighting metaphor, with the first verse being boxing and the second  being more internal, besides the whole punching a wall thing. it also includes my two favourite things in songwriting, which are really visual descriptions and vocoders

honey - maybe the most personal on the album, definitely the most stream of consciousness. i liked the juxtaposition of calling someone "honey" and then going into a bunch of bad things they had done. bonus points for the wacky chord progression and key changes

hell is a houseboat - the closest i've come yet to a full unapologetic love song. this one also has on of my two favourite lines on the album: "heaven's a hotel robe, angelic white, lacking comfort, and missing when you need it"

reprise - the two samples at the start are two older songs of mine: exit wounds and forest respectively

maybe - i seem to find myself drawn to writing about religion. when i was much sadder growing up i often wished i was religious, it seemed like it would be nice to have something so much bigger to look to when i needed it, but i could never convince myself to fully buy in. another one of my favourite lines on the album: "cut out my tongue, glue my fingers together, and kick in the backs of my knees"

so long - this one's kind of a collage of a bunch of different moments and people in my life that i wish i could have more time with